F*ck Love by Tarryn FisherF*ck Love by Tarryn Fisher
Published January 2016
Genres: Contemporary Romance
five-stars
Format: eBook
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Check it out on Goodreads

Helena Conway has fallen in love.
Unwillingly. Unwittingly.
But not unprovoked.
Kit Isley is everything she’s not—unstructured, untethered,
and not even a little bit careful.
It could all be so beautiful … if he wasn’t dating her best friend.
Helena must defy her heart, do the right thing, and think of others.
Until she doesn’t.

I’m a huge fan of Colleen Hoover, who is a huge fan of Tarryn Fisher, so – by association – I am always all ears when a new Tarryn Fisher book comes out, and I must say that F*ck Love hit my Goodreads shelf a little unexpectedly. And the moment I looked at the synopsis, I knew I had to get this.

Helena Conway is your regular, squirky and predictable heroine. She has a stable boyfriend, a stable career-path as an accountant, and everything about her just fits the mold. However, one dream is all it takes for her to change her vision of life. She’s dreaming of a husband that is not her current boyfriend, kids, a cosy house in Washington, and a career that she never would have dreamed of – until now. The only problem is that the husband of her dreams is her best friend’s boyfriend Kit Isley. But Helena has already fallen in love with her dream and is hell-bent on chasing it.

“I had a dream that made me take a closer look at a guy I was otherwise ignoring. And from that dream I discovered a connection.”

F*ck Love is entirely told from its heroine’s POV. And you may think that this will be a hell of a love triangle menage a trois type of story like Accidentally On Purpose, or even The Opportunist, another Tarryn Fisher novel. But it isn’t at all. While Helena is getting closer to Kit every day (in an absolutely non-boyfriend stealing way), a real connection builds between the two of them, which strengthens Helena’s will to reach out and grab the dream.

Helena is the epitome of a good soul, always putting the needs of other before her own. And well, she was dealt a whole lot of crappy cards throughout the book – no matter how good, how loyal or how thoughtful she was. I was team Helena all the way and it made me sad that the story just wasn’t much in her favour. She’s the girl that’s bright, but likes to live life in the background, and this one dream changes everything about her. It makes her want to try something else, and not just what is “expected from her” – like becoming a coloring book artist instead of becoming a boring accountant.

“I don’t want to be someone’s ‘girl who got away.’ I want to be someone’s ‘girl who’d I’d never let get away.’”

While she invested herself so much in that dream, she made those changes and the related soul-searching without ever overstepping boundaries. But she does it all just to watch someone else – her best friend Della – live that dream in her place.

“I know I’m wearing a slutty dress, and my hair is a mess, and people are looking at me. But they can’t see my heart. If they could see my heart, they’d understand why my mascara is smudged.”

Kit on the other hand… I just couldn’t warm up to him. There were things about him to like, but in the end he was just a pretty coward, not really manning up when he should have, and more than often just taking the easy way out. And the rest of the story proved that Helena wasn’t the first he ran from. The fact that he’d rather be with someone as shallow as Helena’s best friend was just absurd and make him just as shallow. Especially given the fact that he has this deep connection with Helena: they talk art, travel, and books; she shares her art progress with him and he shares his book manuscript with her – when Della is just too superficial to be able to even have a conversation like that with him. Oh and don’t get me started on Helena’s “best friend” Della. I just could NOT get over how much I wanted to cut her. Throughout the whole darn book.

“Della likes people who cater to her. I’m a professional caterer. It doesn’t make me feel used, just needed.”

In summary, I will be giving this book 5 stars, just because the writing and the story was so captivating and powerful, and because it totally moved me. I love it when a book elicits such deep feelings from me. But at the same time, I have to say that I found the end of the story a bit unfair. I would have wished for Helena to have a perfect happy ending, because even though she got the ending she wanted, it was not the ending she deserved. She deserved to find someone who would love her and choose her from the start. Not someone who finally mans up once the war is over, and who certainly left more broken hearts in his wake than you could think.

“You shouldn’t have to convince anyone to choose you. There is no real choice in love.”

Detailed Rating
Storyline
5 Stars
Characters
5 Stars
Writing
5 Stars
All the feels
5 Stars
Overall: five-stars